Sunday, September 8, 2013

Blog # 3

Now here i am  sitting in the dark  corner of  this bar feeling how the blood gushes out of my wound into my shirt, contemplating  my life go  by but it  seems  awfully boring  the  flashbacks  are invading  my eyes  and  all i  can  see   clearly  is the past  days. The pain  is so harsh  i can barely  breath  without  dragging attention to my self, I will numb  the  feeling  with  some whiskey  i  believe  a  bottle  will do  the  job, But let me  tell  you  how  i got here in the  first  place. I was on  the job, I had  a  special  case near  the  Santa  Monica pier, that  had  been  my  routine  for  quite a bit  of time already. But  this  day  was  a little  different than  the  rest of  the  year  or  anything i had  done,

It  was November  2nd  Dia  de los Muertos I  believe  it's a Hispanic  celebration honoring  the death, and for  what i  saw  it is a  really big  deal,there was  hundreds of people but  even   in  the  giant crowd  one single person   caught my  attention, she was a tall ,light  skinned, with beautiful  big  brown   eyes, and  a little  birthmark  below her  right  eye. She looked  simply stunning and i  wanted  to  know her. Unluckily  for me i  had to leave i had  received a  call,  the person  I was looking  for  had   been  seen  by  one of my former colleague  from  when i  was working  for  the police  department. I had  to  leave  Mario De La  Fuente  was  more important than  me  finding  what  some people call  love. 

  I went to  check  that information on Mario De La Fuente but it  seemed  useless I decided to call it a  day and I went  home, For some reason it  felt  lonelier  that  day, i felt  the  walls  closing  up on me, every step  i took  it seemed  like the room  was getting  smaller  and smaller,  I light one of my  special cigars and  saw  the  smoke dissipate in front of my eyes, as i  sipped  some  whiskey it  was  the perfect  combination  but  not  today, there  was  still something in my mind it was her,  that   beautiful  women i knew  nothing about. I went to sleep because i had  to  wake up early I  needed  to know where was Mario De La  Fuente and  fast there was a lot of trouble  going on  and Mario had something to  do  with it i  had been  investigating  him for  a couple of months now he  was  the head of  a Cartel well known  for  their crimes  committed against  people  that had  done  them  wrong.  As usual i went  to  the Pier to see if i could  catch  an  eye on Mario, but today  just  wasn't  going to be the  day  apparently. I was getting  ready to get up and  leave  then suddenly  the women that had  driven me  crazy in love  sat   in my table, You mind if  I take a seat?, She said. No  of course  not  i replied. 

I felt  like a child  waking up in Christmas  getting  the exact present  he had  asked for all year long. she  was  even prettier  up  close, the red lipstick  that  marked her lips reminded me of  blood but in a good  way it  reminded  me of  every time i  had killed someone  who  tried to shoot at me and  missed it  was  a certain sensation  that  i  can  not possibly  describe.Whats  your name beautiful?. Sofia  she said.  i had never  seen perfection before, but i had  now  and  Sofia  was her name. i  was so  caught up  with  Sofia, Until  i  heard a  shot somebody had  been  shot  and  there  was already  a crowd  forming  around the unfortunate bastard. I ran  as  fast as i  could towards the crowd i saw the man  lying  there on the ground life less in  a pool  of  his own  blood, i  took  his  wallet  out  to  identify him but  i knew  who  he  was,  he was my  rat  Alejandro  Villareal  , Mario's Right  hand man,  that  could  just mean  he had  done  something  wrong or  they found  out he had talked  to detective (me) maybe and they  decided  to let  him off  easy compared to others. I left the scene he  was none of my  business. i headed  towards my car and i saw Her  again  there  was Sofia  waiting for me. She  asked for a ride I said yes and  took  her  home, before leaving  the car she  smirked and  said, How  does  8 o clock  sound, i was shocked for a second I wasn't  sure what she  meant  by 8 o Clock. Dinner  silly you will  pick me up at  8 and  we  will  have a  wonderful evening and  then  she kissed me. Well  Yes  that sounds amazing at 8 it will be.

 I went  home  got  ready i  felt  so  childish because i had not  been  in a  date  in forever. i went picked up  a dozen roses and  headed  to  her house. I rang  the  door bell to my surprise  it  wasn't Sofia who  opened  the door, It was Mario i was confused, i had been played  and now i was  in danger, he knew i had  been  after him for quite a long time and  now  he  was  going to get me. I pulled  out my  gun  but  he  took  the  first  shot it missed luckily for  me  his gun got stuck  it  gave me a  couple of  seconds to  run to my car, He  was the head of  a cartel  he didn't just carry one  gun   he took out a 9 mm a  took several  shots at me  two hit me  but I  still drove  off  he followed me, I lost him  and  I went  into this bar I ordered  a  bottle  of  whiskey  I'm  sure he  will be  here in  no time, I can  barely keep my eyes open everything  seems  to  begetting  darker, I just heard  loud noise  now my chest  feels  warm  and really  heavy, my blood  seems like  water  it's all over me I guess  this is  how it  all had to  end   all because of  a women  Sofia  was  the name of  perfection  But also  the name of my  trap and the cause of my death.

3 comments:

  1. hi sonia the story line is good i really like how story flows from end to end. in regards to keeping it in line with film noir you have all the major elements. you have a great femme fatale, and the man who fallas in love with her has a deadly incounter at the end. your description of one time and place was also very nice. over all a good story for the amount of words that we were allowed to have.

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  2. Great story. I agree with Frank. You made it flow very well and had all the Film Noir elements. The details you used to describe the Femme Fatale were great. From her light skin to her birth mark under her eye. She sounds like a great femme fatale. I really like how you started your story with the end, showing him in the bar already hurt. I would be really interested to see what you could do if you could use more words than you were limited too.

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  3. Your story was nicely written, had all the elements of film noir and I enjoyed reading it.

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